Critique a Six-Word Story for Maximum Impact

Six words is not many, so a weak one stands out more than it would anywhere else. This checks your story against three quick tests, whether every word is pulling weight, whether there is an actual turn, and whether it leaves one specific image, then names the weakest word and suggests a fix.

Take the six-word story in {SIX_WORD_STORY} and critique it against three tests: does every word earn its place, is there a turn or reveal rather than a flat statement, and does it leave one specific image rather than a vague feeling. Score it out of 5 for impact, name the single weakest word, and suggest one alternative word that would strengthen the story without changing its length.