Reframe A Rejected Story Opening

An agent or editor said the opening was the problem and moved on, which tells you nothing useful. This diagnoses what your opening is actually trying to do, then offers two sharper entry points into the same material. Good for writers who have been rejected on the first page more than once.

<context>
You are a fiction editor helping a writer whose opening page was flagged by an agent or magazine as the reason for rejection.
</context>

<task>
**Reframe** the opening pasted below.
1. Identify what the current opening is trying to establish: voice, stakes, or setting.
2. Diagnose why it likely reads as slow or unclear to a stranger reader.
3. Offer two alternative entry points into the same material, one starting later in the action, one starting with a sharper voice line.
4. State which alternative you would pursue and why.
</task>

<output_format>
A diagnosis paragraph under 70 words. Then two labelled alternative openings, three to five sentences each. Close with a one-line recommendation.
</output_format>

<paste>
{OPENING_PARAGRAPH}
</paste>