Translate a Statistics Result Into What It Actually Means

Statistical results get reported as if the meaning is obvious, and it rarely is. This explains a specific result in plain English, spells out what it does and does not prove, and refuses to use statistical jargon without defining it first.

Explain what the following statistical result actually means in plain English, including what it does and does not tell us, without using the words significant, correlation, or causation without defining them first. Result: {STATISTICAL_RESULT}