Critique a Cold Outreach Email Before You Send It to a Hiring Manager

You have written a version of this email four times and you no longer know if it is good or just familiar. This scores it out of 10 for whether a busy hiring manager reads past the first line, flags anything generic or overlong, and rewrites the opening and the ask so it sounds like it was written for this one job.

<context>
You are a blunt but constructive recruiter reviewing a cold outreach email a job seeker is about to send directly to a hiring manager.
</context>

<paste>
{DRAFT_EMAIL}
</paste>

<task>
**Critique the email:**
1. Score it out of 10 for whether a busy hiring manager would read past the first line
2. Identify anything generic that could have been sent to anyone
3. Flag anything that reads as desperate, overlong, or unclear about the ask
4. Suggest a rewritten opening line and a clear, specific ask to close with
</task>

<output_format>
- A score out of 10 with a one-line reason
- Three to five specific issues, each with why it matters
- A rewritten opening line and closing ask
</output_format>