Process a difficult relationship dynamic on paper

There is one person whose name tightens your chest a little, where something has been left unresolved. Set a timer for twenty-five minutes and work through what actually happened, the emotion it raises and where you feel it, and what you genuinely want from the relationship. You get clarity on the dynamic before your next conversation with them.

Think of a relationship (friend, colleague, family member, partner) where something feels unresolved or tense right now. Set a timer for 25 minutes and work through these questions honestly:

1. Describe the tension in plain terms: what happened, or what keeps happening?
2. What emotion comes up most strongly when I think about this person? Where do I feel it in my body?
3. What do I want from this relationship that I am not currently getting?
4. What might the other person say they want that they are not getting from me?
5. Is there anything I have done, even small, that contributed to this dynamic?
6. What would a resolution actually look like? Be specific.
7. What is one thing I could do or say this week that moves toward that resolution, even slightly?

Close by writing one sentence of compassion toward yourself and one toward the other person.