Work through a clash between two values you hold

You want to be loyal and you want to be honest, and right now you cannot be both. This is for that specific bind: name the situation, name the two values in tension, then look honestly at what each is asking of you. You stop feeling vaguely torn and start seeing the actual trade-off you are being asked to make.

This exercise is for a specific situation where two things you care about are pulling you in different directions. Take your time with each step.

Step 1: Name the conflict. Write one sentence describing the situation you're facing.

Step 2: Identify the two values in tension. For example: 'I value loyalty AND I value honesty' or 'I value security AND I value growth.' Write them both down.

Step 3: For each value, answer: Where did this value come from? Can you trace a specific experience or person that taught you to hold it?

Step 4: For each value, answer: What am I afraid will happen if I don't honour this value in this situation?

Step 5: Is there a version of this decision that partially honours both values, or does one genuinely have to take priority here? Write your honest answer.

Step 6: If you had to choose one value to lead your decision, not permanently, just this time, which would it be? What does that tell you?