Critique My Feedback: Is This Message Landing the Right Way?

You have written the feedback message but you are not sure it lands the way you mean it. Paste the draft. It checks whether the behaviour and impact are specific, whether the tone blames, whether it is fairly balanced, whether the reader knows what to change, and whether any bias has crept in. For anyone who wants a second read before they hit send.

I have drafted the following feedback message to send to a team member: "{DRAFT_FEEDBACK}". Please critique this message against best-practice feedback principles. Evaluate it on: clarity (is the behavior and impact specific?), tone (is it respectful and non-blaming?), balance (does it acknowledge any positives where appropriate?), actionability (does the recipient know what to do differently?), and bias risk (does it contain language that could be perceived as unfair or discriminatory?). Score each dimension out of 5 and explain your reasoning. Then provide a revised version of the message that addresses any weaknesses you identified. Keep the revised version close to my original voice.