Diagnose and Break a Recurring Argument Pattern

You and someone close keep having the exact same row dressed in different clothes. Describe how it usually plays out. It digs past the surface topic to each person's real triggers, names the dynamic at work (pursuer-withdrawer, contempt cycle and the like) and shows where the loop turns. Less 'who's right', more 'why does this keep happening'.

My {RELATIONSHIP_TYPE} and I keep having the same argument. The surface topic is usually {SURFACE_TOPIC}, but it never really gets resolved. Here is how it typically goes: {ARGUMENT_PATTERN_DESCRIPTION}.

Analyse this pattern and:
1. Identify the likely underlying triggers for each person (not just the presenting issue)
2. Name the communication dynamic at play (e.g. pursuer-withdrawer, contempt cycle)
3. Show where the conversation derails and why
4. Give us a concrete intervention: a new way to open the conversation before it escalates
5. Suggest one structural change (e.g. timing, format, agreement) that could help

Be direct. I don't need validation. I need a pattern break.