Audit who you are versus who you perform being

You are one person at work, another at your parents' table, another with old friends, and you are not always sure which is you. Take thirty minutes and an honest mood: list the roles you play, then for each, separate what feels truly like you from what you put on for the room. You finish with a clearer sense of which face is actually yours.

We all wear different faces in different rooms. This exercise helps you find out which one is actually yours. Take 30 minutes and a willingness to be honest.

1. List three to five roles you currently play: employee, parent, friend, partner, expert, caretaker, the funny one, the reliable one. Write them down.

2. For each role: What do you do in this role that feels genuinely like you? What do you do in this role that feels like a performance or obligation?

3. Now set the roles aside. Answer these questions as if no one will ever read them:
   - What do I actually enjoy, separate from what I am supposed to enjoy?
   - What opinion do I hold privately that I rarely say out loud?
   - What would I spend time on if no one was watching and nothing would be judged?
   - What part of myself have I quietly given up to fit in somewhere?

4. Looking at your answers: where is the gap between who you are and who you present yourself to be largest?

5. Is that gap protective, or is it costing you something?

Close by writing one true sentence about yourself that you rarely say.