Work through anger without acting on it

You are furious and one click away from a message you would not be able to take back. Find somewhere private and set a timer: eight minutes to let it out on the page, unfiltered and unfair, then twelve to ask what sits underneath the anger and what it is really telling you. The page absorbs the heat. You act on the information, not the impulse.

Anger has information in it. This exercise helps you extract that information before it turns into regret. Find a private space and set a timer for 25 minutes.

Part 1, Let it out on paper (8 minutes):
Write about what you are angry about. Do not filter, soften, or be fair. Say exactly what you feel. This part stays between you and the page.

Part 2, Understand the anger (12 minutes):
1. Underneath the anger, what am I actually feeling? (Common answers: fear, hurt, humiliation, betrayal, powerlessness, grief.)
2. What expectation or value did this situation violate?
3. Is any part of this anger misdirected? Am I angry at the wrong person or the wrong thing?
4. What does this anger want me to do? Is that the wisest response?
5. What do I actually need right now that the anger is pointing toward?

Part 3, Decide (5 minutes):
6. Is there an action I need to take, or do I need to let this move through me?
7. If action: what would a response I am proud of look like?
8. If release: what ritual or physical act will help me put this down?

End by writing one sentence of self-compassion.