Re-examine your values after a significant loss or change

Something has shifted: a bereavement, a break-up, a job gone, an illness. You catch yourself unsure what you even believe in any more. This guided exercise walks you through it step by step, naming the change plainly and re-examining the values you used to hold. Good for anyone in the foggy patch after a hard event who wants to think clearly without being rushed.

This exercise is for times when something significant has shifted in your life: a bereavement, a relationship ending, a job loss, an illness, or any change that has left you questioning what matters. Take as much time as you need with each step.

Step 1: Name the loss or change you are working through. You don't need to write much, just acknowledge it plainly.

Step 2: Write down the values you held most strongly before this change. What did you organise your life around?

Step 3: Which of those values still feel true and solid? Which feel different, hollowed out, or uncertain now?

Step 4: Has this experience introduced or surfaced a value that wasn't visible to you before, something like presence, impermanence, vulnerability, or connection?

Step 5: Sometimes loss strips away values that were really about protection or identity rather than meaning. Is there anything you used to value that you now see was more about fear or performance than genuine care?

Step 6: What do you want to build your next chapter on? You are not being asked to have this figured out, only to name what feels true right now, even if it's uncertain.

Step 7: Write one sentence: 'What this experience has taught me about what matters is...'