Critique My Short Story Structure

You can polish sentences forever and still have a story that doesn't hold up. This ignores prose entirely and goes after structure: stakes early enough, a clear turn, a protagonist who actually chooses, an earned ending, and scenes you could cut. Paste the draft and find out whether the bones are sound before you sand the surface.

Critique the structure of the following short story draft. Focus exclusively on structural issues, not prose style. Evaluate: (1) Does the opening establish stakes within the first 10% of the text? (2) Is there a clear turning point or complication? (3) Does the protagonist make a meaningful choice that drives the climax? (4) Is the ending earned by what came before? (5) Are there scenes that could be cut without losing narrative momentum? Rate each element 1-5 and give specific, actionable revision notes. End with a single priority fix that will have the greatest structural impact.

STORY:
{STORY_DRAFT}